Dust to Dust
by Queen of Leaves
Summary: Set around season six. Buffy feels disgusted after her latest encounter with Spike and decides to end it the only way she knows how...leading Spike to wonder...how far would he go for her?
1. Anger

Okay, this is my first Spuffy, although I've loved them forever. Read and review as usual, Stargate stuff will be updated shortly 

Dust to Dust

Chapter One

She feels dirty after leaving the crypt, even though he has licked every inch of her clean with that sharp, pink tongue. She is covered in his essence, doused with her favorite sin. She will shower again for hours tonight, scrubbing herself in an effort to get his fingerprints off of her skin. But when she closes her eyes, she will still see his head thrown back as his pleasure washes over him. She will still hear him moaning her name in that strange way that made her stomach turn. She will still taste his mouth; still feel the soreness in her hips when she moves.

And tomorrow, she'll venture closer to his side of the graveyard, just to do it all over again.

Buffy is disgusted with herself. This she knows as she steps out of the shower, toweling her hair vigorously to dislodge the ghost of his fingers that remain tangled up in her gold locks. Goldylocks. He had named her, possessed her. She heard his words every time she looked in the mirror.

She wanted to cry, but she has no tears left. She wants to scream, but she's done enough of that already.

Buffy does what she knows best. She dresses again in a fresh set of clothes, her body still moist from the shower. These are her combat clothes, she can move in these. She can do what she needs to do.

It's late, so Dawn doesn't hear her digging through weapons cabinet. She pulls out two stakes, a crossbow with several bolts and a small dagger. Steady fingers fasten a crucifix around her neck, ignoring the trail of bruises that line the pale flesh.

She leaves the house, her mission in mind. She is no longer Buffy Summers, Guidance Counselor or Buffy, Spike's lover. She is the Slayer. Her job is to hunt vampires and kill them, not sleep with them.

Her own disgust has won out over reason and logic, her need for his muscle overpowered by her hatred of herself and the deed she had committed. She might pay for this later, but Spike would pay for it now.

Armed to the teeth, Buffy stopped in front of his crypt and waited. It was only a matter of time before he would sense her arrival and show himself. And sure enough, there he was now, wearing only his leather pants and a coy smile. He held a cigarette in his left hand and leaned smugly against the cool, stole doorway of his crypt.

"Couldn't get enough, could you, Slayer?" He quipped, his voice light and beautifully arrogant.

With no change in expression, Buffy pulled out the crossbow and aimed a shot at Spike's chest. His eyes widened only slightly as the crossbow twanged and Buffy fired a shot at the heart that burned so deeply for her.

SBSBSB

Okay, I'll update that soon, I swear! Sorry to leave you hanging like that. Let me know what you thought!


	2. Redeeming Love

Well, I was really surprised by the various reactions I got to the first chapter. Some wanted Spike to die and others would prefer I save him. So where do I go from here? Wait and see…

Dust to Dust Chapter II

The bolt hit Spike with enough force to make him falter backwards, his arms shooting out to grab the doorframe he had so casually leaned upon moments earlier. This couldn't be happening, she wouldn't…would she?

Spike gasped as the pain shot through his chest. Cheated from a fight, from an honorable duel to the finish with the woman he loved, for this? He closed his eyes and waited to feel himself collapse into dust.

She had missed his heart by a fraction of an inch. The slight tremor in her hands had thrown off her aim just enough to spare his life. Already, Buffy was reloading the crossbow, steadfast in her desire to wipe him from the face of the earth. With a grunt, Spike pulled the bolt from his chest, threw it to the ground and stalked over to her, twisting the crossbow out of her hands tossing it into the darkness, not really caring where it went.

"Bloody hell, Buffy. If that's your idea of a new game between us, I understand. But you could hurt a guy with those."

Her eyes were as cold as the fingers pressing into her shoulders. She moved to draw her stake and upon sensing this, Spike slammed her into the crypt wall.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

Buffy struggled against his arms. "Let me go, Spike!"

He grabbed her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. "Not until you tell me why you came here with the obvious intent to do me in." His voice was harsh now with the realization that she was not playing a game.

Her knee came up and caught him in the chest, sending him flying backwards. He scrambled to his feet, but was not fast enough to avoid the volley of fists that came in his direction.

"You want to know why, Spike?" she said, her breath coming in heaves as her blows connected to his face, his bare chest.

"You disgust me. You are a sick, pathetic monster who has nothing better to do than stalk the Slayer. You act like you have a heart, like you can feel something for me in that cold, dead piece in your chest. You act like some lovelorn puppy dog. You make me sick! You are dirt!"

Spike caught the final fist that flew at him and punched her in the stomach. He picked her up and threw her across the graveyard, watching with satisfaction as she slammed into a large, concrete crucifix.

"I've said it before, Slayer. I may be dirt, but you're the one who rolls in it. You think you are so high and mighty, the champion of justice?"

He knelt and grabbed her shirtfront, slamming her against the concrete, careful not to touch the holy object.

"In truth, you're as dirty as I am and I think you like it."

With a feral growl, she backhanded him, going on the attack once more.

"I do not like it, you sick bastard. You think you hold some sort of power over me? You, the one who is powerless. A vampire with a chip. You can't hurt anyone."

Spike bared his teeth. "But I can hurt you. And that's where all the fun is."

She was on the ground now, defensive against the foot that was attacking her side.

"You see, as much as I may follow you and worship the ground you spit on, I still keep my best interests near to my cold, dead part in my chest." He bit off the words bitterly.

Buffy staggered to her feet as he stepped back from her, giving her a chance to catch her breath. With a sigh he didn't need, he knelt before her, gazing up at her with a completely open face.

"And right now, you are my best interest. You are everything I live for, so to speak. I would do anything for you, luv, and if that means letting you beat the living hell out of me or dust me, go ahead and do it if it makes you feel better."

He closed his eyes, holding out his arms in an almost symbolic representation of self-sacrifice, waiting for her to strike the final blow.

Buffy stared at him and for a moment was tempted to drive the wooden stake through his heart while he wasn't looking.

Instead, she cried. Silent tears poured down her face as she looked at the most accepting, open love that knelt before her, completely at her mercy.

Upon hearing her change in breath, Spike's eyebrows furrowed, but he didn't open his eyes. His own body tensed though, as her fingers traced the length of his outstretched arm, moving over his chest, circling the spot where a heart should be. Behind his eyelids, he could feel her move until she was at his level, kneeling on the cold, damp dirt of the graveyard. With a small sigh, she laid her head on his chest, placing her ear over the hollow cavern abandoned when he was turned. He could feel her tears trickle down his chest and finally, as she wrapped her arms around his chest and sobbed, lowered his arms to tentatively close the embrace.

Please read and review if you liked! More to come later!


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